Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Winter Blunders

I want to start by apologizing for the posting drought. For lack of better excuses, I am going to blame it on the darkness. You see it gets a little depressing up here when it is only light from 10am to 2pm and you really don't get to do many exciting things. If you are not doing exiting things you are not very motivated to write about them.

Well I am pleased to announce that "I can see clearly now the light is breaking through the darkenss!" Everyday the sun is out longer and longer, which is very exciting. I actually saw some light on the horizon starting a week ago when I was leaving the office at 4:30pm.

So make up for the posting draught we are going to give you a few winter bloopers. I believe most people reading this blog realize that the farthest north either one of us has lived is Kansas. And Kansas is about 3,000 miles south of Anchorage, so we had a lot of learning to do on surviving the winters. I hope you get a few laughs reading the bloopers below.

Blooper #1- How to unfreeze an Egg!



Who doesn't love cheeseburgers while watching a OSU football game in November? No one right! Well my plan was to make cheeseburgers for some friends that were coming over to watch the game. So I got the meat patties ready to go, and decided to that I would fire up my Big Green Egg about 30 minutes before they arrive....wrong...in the south I never had to worry about my grill freezing shut...apparently this happens in the North. For those of you not familiar with the design of an egg, first it looks like an egg, duh, second it has a felt gasket that seals the air in between the top and bottom half of the egg... Well, that gasket can absorb water and freeze (not my lucky day) I had friends coming over to watch that game in 10 minutes and the only item that I had to feed them at the moment did not look like it was going to happen. However, I am an Engineer and a trained problem solver so I was going to save the day.

Attempt #1 - Paint Scrapper- My first thought was to grab something that I could wedge between the two halves so I grabbed a paint scrapper.  So not only did this fail, but it slightly damaged my gasket

Attempt #2 - Patio Heater- For Meghan's 30th birthday, I purchased her a patio heater...I know awesome Alaska gift... Well, maybe today was the day that it would earn its keep.....think again....the patio heater did a good job keeping me warm but was too far away from the eggs surface to have any effect. By the way the ambient air temperature was bout 22 deg F.

Attempt #3 - Hair Dryer-  What is the logical source of heat that can make direct contact with almost any surface.... a woman's hair dryer (Yes, I had to make it clear that I do not own a hair dryer)....Well, this approach worked better than the Patio heater, but still has not producing good results. I would have been out there the rest of the day waiting on the hair dryer to work.

Attempt #4 - Ask the Oracle (Google) - Three strikes and you are out as they say, but that was before Google. Why not ask google and see if any other displaced southerners had experienced the same issue. Well, it turns out I was not the only one to make this mistake. The solution from Google was to drop a firestarter through the top vent of the egg, down through the grate and into the coals while keeping it lite. Much easier said then done!! However, after multiple attempts it was a success and it warmed the egg up from the inside out. Thank you Google and web contributors for saving the day.

Blooper #2- When to put Christmas lights on your house

I had big plans in my mind that for Christmas 2016 I would put up Christmas lights on the house. It would be my first attempt ever and with a one story home it shouldn't be to difficult.  Consequently, when Lowes got all their Christmas supplies in (late October) I picked up all the items we would need.. lights, roof clips, timer, and extension cord. I come home holding my head high because this purchase was going to be a surprise for Meghan. She has always wanted to put up Christmas lights, but it was not practical at our home in Houston due to the roof pitch. She is excited to see my purchase and I am eager to put them up so I get started that afternoon. So I ask Meghan to help me put the roof clips on the lights and string out all 90 ft across the front of the house. Then I get up on the ladder to install my first clip and realize that the shingles are frozen to the roof (no installation gap) and the gutters are full of ice within a 1/4" of the top. Immediately I realized why people in Alaska either put up their lights in the summer or leave them up year around. Bummer... we would have to wait until the summer.....however, we soon found out that Alaska receives warm air from the Pacific that increase the temperature at random times of the year. Fortunately for us, one of those times was over Thanksgiving so the snow melted and we were able to get the lights up during a coupled day unseasonal warm up period. Ultimately, the Christmas lights were a great success (see picture) and have boosted moral during the dark winter days.



Blooper #3- Hanging Wreaths on Windows

We are still in the Christmas decorating phase of winter lessons learned.  Meghan has a nice set of wreaths with rubber suction cups to hang on the front window that we used in Houston. Her request was that I would put them up on our Alaska home. No sweat, right? Nope, even the small tasks are difficult when the temperature is just above 0 deg F. However, being an engineer I did put some thought into the effect that the temperature change would have on my procedure. Typically, I would clean the window and the suction cup to ensure a good seal. Knowing that water would freeze quickly, I decided I would use the Karate Kid approach "wax on, wax off"  to quickly dry the water before it had a change to freeze. Well despite my good planning, I could not wipe the water off quickly enough. It immediately froze on contact and I can assure that those rubber suction cups will not seal on ice..... Know I had another problem to solve. How to get the ice off the window? Good thing for me is that I learned from my frozen grill experience and had a few options available to use and the most logical for this situation was to use a hair dryer. Yes, it has been put to good use in Alaska.